Wedding From A Guy's Point of View

“Ring ring”

Me: Ey Hello

Daphne: Hey Cuz! Just fixing the wedding list [excitement in her voice] aren’t you just soo excited?

Me: oh sure...ummmmm

PAUSE!  Let me clear the air, guys have nothing against weddings. We love them; yes we get to meet that uncle that got crazy drunk at the last wedding you all attended. The laughter, hugs from those aunties we don’t remember but the crazy thing is she remembers you picture clear. So clear infact she will drag you down memory lane about that one time she changed your nappy-yes we stand there and smile while everyone marvels at how tall we have grown and how much of a beard we have grown. Don’t forget the random comments like, “kufanana na sekuru vake vaya vekuba mombe yekwa Gurudzo” He looks like that uncle of ours that stole a cow from the Gurudzo’s heard.

We love weddings; of course there is meeting that really pretty cousin of yours...mmmmm what’s not to love? Be warned, l think lm speaking for most guys when l say this. To us weddings are just that one day we going to celebrate a friend or a relatives wedding with someone, that’s it. Unless I’m the groom, the bride’s father, the grooms maids that’s all there is to it- l know what ll wear a week before and I’m going to show support and have myself a nice time. I’ll say it again, that’s all there is to it. None of that fuss over the venue, wedding colours, table setup, menu, bride’s gown (it’s just a white dress), flowers, in-laws attire gets to us. Infact the only thing we’ll maybe look at is the cars. Imagine the bride and groom pulling up the butterfly doors to a white Lamborghini Quntash! Man oh man. We will talk about the food and drink though so more meat and please let the wise waters flow, please!

So we will pitch at the wedding, even without a present. That brings me to my next point, we hate choosing a present because we honestly don’t know what you want (i mean we have no idea besides we know everyone else is buying pots and pans). Just not to get there empty handed we will get into the nearest home appliance shop and pick up the best thing we can (yes! That’s our best), wrap it (yes wrap it, l can’t let my present be only one unwrapped).that’s all to it.

I’ll make it there on time, sit and do whatever has to be done...the next day it will all be over. We’ll be laughing about that bride’s maid that couldn’t dance, that uncle that got drunk again and hopefully drooling about the Lamborghini Quntash. Yep so get married and invite us... we love weddings. [PS. Please avoid getting married on a UEFA final night, for both of us]